When I Get That Feeling

Liz Jones is at it again.

The truth is: [women] don’t really enjoy sex that much. And we definitely don’t want sex as often as men do. That is a cold, hard fact. And women most definitely, incontrovertibly, do not want sex once they have children — or so my friends who have children confess to me. Particularly once their stomachs develop a texture akin to cold porridge.

The only reason we do have sex is to get a man, keep a man, steal his sperm and flatter ourselves that we are attractive.

Once we have a man, his children, his name on a piece of paper, his youth and his house, we no longer want to indulge in that ridiculous, time-consuming, horizontal dance.

The decades of feminism, the millions of dishonest features in magazines like Cosmopolitan, have misled us. We are not equal to men when it comes to libido. We grow up. We have other priorities. Sex slips onto a backburner, sliding to the bottom of an almost endless list of things to do that day.

Oh, honey.

You know I can’t even be mad, I’m just really sorry for Ms. Jones.

Heterosexual women especially have a horrible history of not owning their pleasure, taking pride in their knowledge of themselves. We’ve been socialized into the virgin/whore dichotomy that screws us the wrong way every time. It is high time we take charge of our own sexuality and take pleasure in feeling pleasure (both in giving and taking).

I’m of the firm belief that no one sexual has to suffer through having bad sex, outside of a medical condition. If you’re having bad sex you have options, my dears:

1) Change your partner(s) .
2) If you’ve invested in your partner(s) and option 1 doesn’t feel like an option, I highly suggest providing some instructional lessons. If they (or you) aren’t willing to put in the time to learn, seriously consider option 1. Communication people, it’s alright to ask for what you want!
2b) Of course, option 2 is pretty much impossible if you don’t know what you like. At which point I highly suggest spending some quality time with yourself.

3) If all else fails, consider that you may just not be a sexual person, and if sex really isn’t something you have any interest in, tell your partner(s), talk about it.

Things not to do:

1) Lie about or hide your feelings on sex from your partner(s).
2) Blanket statement everyone else to fit your experience.
3) Shame others for wanting and enjoying sex.
4) Blame feminism.

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