via she hulk smash: Privilege doesn’t make you a bad person.

In my discussions with people, I’ve found that a lot are unwilling to accept their privilege (typically white or male, or at least those are the people that get the maddest). I understand why being told straight up that you have privilege can be upsetting. When you get called out on something that sounds negative that is supposed to be representative of the group you identify with, of course you’re going to get defensive. But, privilege is a reality and not a stereotype or a slur. Logically, nobody is living the same life, and some of us have it better or tougher than other people. That’s what privilege is. A lot of us are privileged in some respect, by being white or educated or heterosexual (or, at least passing for it like I know I am most of the time), or male or cisgendered or having a certain body type or being physically/mentally healthy or being wealthy… a lot of things. And, being privileged doesn’t make someone a bad person. It just means that they have an easier time than other people as a result of that privilege. Everyone is privileged in some way, and some people are a lot more oppressed than others. And, it’s really important that you acknowledge that.

Please go over and read more, pass it on, etc…

I Need To Stop Arguing With Brick Walls

Missing the point, one offensive sentence at a time, is Marcus:

It is unfortunate that you seek to vilify our cause. We have stated from the very beginning that our movement was inspired by SW Boston that we had the good pleasure to attend and participate in. At this stage we are only drumming up support for the cause and God knows we have a few wrinkles to iron out! That said, once everything is resolved and we have a concrete blueprint for the event we will officially submit a request of affiliation (as a satellite) with SW Toronto. The final decision is of course theirs. I would also like to point out that the movement started out as a grassroots, DIY-er and any attempt to excessively centralize and stifle similar endeavors is something that one would hope doesn’t happen. This is about free speech and peaceful protest. This is about making a point, taking a stance and doing it in a manner that is sexy while also being engaging and instructional.

We would love to have both of you join our cause and express solidarity, just as we have been expressing our solidarity with ALL the other satellites. When skepticism turns to negativity, it harbors the same detrimental emotions that lead to repression and a stifling of one’s rights and free speech. Negativity is what has resulted in the all the antiquated patriarchies in the world and the time is ripe to make a difference.

Tiara, bless, engages with the patience of a saint:

I have told you multiple times where your efforts have gone severely misguided, and how they can bring harm to Iranian women (and even the foreign women you want marching on your behalf). Until these issues are resolved, it is in everyone’s best interest to *not* participate in SW Tehran. You have shown no concern for other women, you are imposing alien ideology onto cultures that you don’t understand and don’t respect (as the burqini photos on your profile and your anti-burqa stance shows), and you have not given us any reason to even believe who you say you are.

It is two in the morning and I suddenly have a reservoir of patience, at least enough to type up a response:

*sigh*
Marcus, it’s amazing how much you keep missing the point and end up being exponentially offensive.

I have already pointed out that Slutwalk is a western movement that no one has any right to impose on on anyone else; it’s been pointed out elsewhere that Slutwalk is not a movement for every westerner to participate either (not that there is one particular way to do Slutwalk, as your organization have unfortunately shown). This is not a one size fits all deal, and you can’t arbitrarily make that decision for Tehran’s women- again I say, you are just reinforcing the problem.

Participants in Slutwalk did not protest because they were trying to be sexy. Asking for victim’s rights to not be blamed for being raped is not sexy, it’s just a request for a bit of human decency. Whether or not the other organizers choose to endorse you is on them. My bone to pick is with your continued perceived entitlement of our support.

Good intentions, and I will freely admit that I am skeptical that you and your project’s are in fact good, do not excuse you from criticism. The best intentioned plans, even within widely acclaimed movements can still cause a lot of hurt. I have had enough experience as a woman of color with well intentioned people with no concept of their privilege though they deigned to teach me about what my rights were.

I do not want to join your cause, and I have been clear about my reasons, so has Tiara for that matter. Expect no solidarity while you trample over other’s voices.

Where’s a privilege denying dude tumblr when you need one?

A Calmer (or at least much shorter) Perspective?

UPDATE!!

Jessica Yee speaks: Responding to the mainstream feminist blogosphere on Feminism FOR REAL


Or at least one not so raw from the initial hurt.

On covering all the books, and all the articles, and all the things:
I’d like it to make it clear, I am not asking for feminist blogs with major readership to cover everything, but it would be cool for them to not only acknowledge that they can’t (because their admins are not super computers) or haven’t or won’t, but that some may feel left out or erased because they don’t. That too is a valid perspective.

On privilege and the vilification of  “calling out”:
We do need to have our privilege called out. To be feminist in practice means that we have to actively listen to fellow feminists critiques. It is natural to immediately go on the defensive, because damn it we are still human; we just have to understand that it is not a statement on our general character (though being unwilling to consider other perspectives just might be), but a call to awareness. We also have to realize that while we may not want the interaction to stop there, while we may want more than “this is fail, stop” it is not anyone’s place or responsibility to educate or teach us. The next step, is entirely up to the person who got called out, not the person who did the calling out. That being said, if the person who did the calling out feels up to doing some educating, some linking, and some referring, more power to them- and we should count ourselves doubly lucky that someone had the spoons to bother with our fail.

UPDATE!!

Jessica Yee speaks: Responding to the mainstream feminist blogosphere on Feminism FOR REAL

I Am Not Responsible For Your Education.

ETA: In summary, try listening. A follow up post, much shorter, and with more space between the initial hurt and the new post page on WordPress.

UPDATE!!

Jessica Yee speaks: Responding to the mainstream feminist blogosphere on Feminism FOR REAL

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